I'll Never Leave You
by KStar
Summary: You're crying again. I can hear you. Musings over the Kaiba brothers by an unlikely character. Read and review.


I'll Never Leave You  
  
By: KStar  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!  
  
This is my first one-shot. Set sometime after at least Battle City.  
  
You're crying again. I can hear you. It's soft and quiet, but to me, it's as loud as blaring trumpets. I press myself against the door to your office, wanting to run in there and comfort you. I want to hug you and tell you everything will be okay because I love you and I'll never leave you...but I don't. I stay where I am.  
  
It is not because I'm scared you'll yell at me. It is not because I'm mad for all the times you were never there for me and just want you to suffer as revenge. It is not because I'm in a good mood and if I go in there I'll probably start crying, too. No, it's just...I can't go in there. I want to, but I won't. Maybe this is what you feel like all the time. Maybe I'm turning into you. Oh wait-I already knew that.  
  
The phone rings, jarring me out of my thoughts. You won't get it; you're in no condition to answer the phone, and I doubt you even hear it. You fired all the maids and butlers, too, so I have to get it. Without so many people around, our house is silent. I don't like it, but I dare not tell you. You have enough to worry about.  
  
I pick up the phone on the fourth ring and say hello. It's Yugi. Of course it's Yugi. Who else would call? His voice is bright, enthusiastic, and chipper-so full of youth and untainted innocence. It makes me want to hurl. See, I told you I was turning into you.  
  
"Are you okay?" Yugi asks, a hint of concern in his voice.  
  
"Of course," I say. "What could possibly be wrong?"  
  
Yugi pauses as though he knows I am lying but doesn't know if he should point it out. "It's just...you sound..." He trails off.  
  
"I sound what?" I question innocently.  
  
"Preoccupied," Yugi replies. "Is something going on? Did I call at a bad time?"  
  
I smile bitterly but then remember Yugi cannot see me. "I suppose. I'm quite busy, you know. Did you want something?"  
  
I can almost picture the uncertainty on Yugi's face as he clutches the phone at his grandfather's game shop. Something tells me he is touching that freaky upside-down puzzle around his neck. You know, that outdated fashion disaster piece of jewelry he always wears that supposedly holds the spirit of an ancient Egyptian pharaoh? "I was hoping that perhaps we could get together and do something," his voice sounds awkward. "Maybe we could duel? I mean, only if you want to."  
  
I suppress a chuckle. The great Yugi Mutou wishes to duel me? The same Yugi that has defeated me in every duel we've been in? What does he want to do-have fun with me? Ha! He cracks me up. Part of me wants to ask why he isn't hanging out with his friendship groupies. Perhaps the little fan club is with him now; they always follow him like a pack of begging dogs, hoping that some of Yugi's fame will rub off on them. What wannabes! I glance back down the hallway and think of you again. As much as I may like to sit around and chat with Yugi, there are more important things to be done.  
  
"I'm sorry, Yugi," I tell him. "As much as I would enjoy watching you lose to me, I'm afraid I have quite a lot of work to be done. Something has come up that I must take care of. Perhaps another time?" I don't tell Yugi what is going on. It's none of his business, and you wouldn't like it.  
  
Yugi sounds disappointed as he says goodbye and that he will see me later. Now I've done it. He probably thinks something really odd has happened because I declined his offer to duel. Whatever. It doesn't matter to me; only you would care about something as trivial as that. He'd have probably won anyways. Yugi always wins.  
  
I walk back to your office only to find the door open. You left when I wasn't around. Have you finished your tears already? I know where you are now. It's the same place you always go after you cry.  
  
I wait by your bedroom door. It's locked of course. Wouldn't want your brother to see what you're doing would you? Normally I would pick the lock and try to stop you from doing something we'll both regret later. Key word there is try. Nobody can actually stop you. Yet I remain leaning against the wall, waiting for you to reveal yourself on you own. It's what you would do in the same situation, and I'm supposed to be more like you, right?  
  
Finally, after several minutes, you open the door. I try not to stare at the bit of gauze poking out from under your shirt. It's tinged red. You're going to have to be more careful bandaging yourself if you don't want anyone to notice. Your eyes are rimmed red, but your look is cold and hard. I gaze back indifferently.  
  
There is a brief period of silence and then, "You didn't come after me this time."  
  
I pick at a piece of peeling wallpaper. "No, I didn't," I reply. "Yugi called."  
  
"I know." Your voice is cold and hard like your eyes, but I know that you're trying your best to keep it from wavering.  
  
"He wanted to duel you," I continue as though you have not spoken.  
  
You cock your head and stare at me incredulously. "Is that all?" you question.  
  
I nod and watch you sag against the wall, a defeated look in your glazed eyes. You look like you're going to cry again, but I know better. I don't bother asking if you're alright; you haven't been okay in a long time. I don't apologize either. Saying sorry isn't going to change the past and besides, nothing is my fault. I say nothing.  
  
"Is life over yet?" you ask. "Because I'm about ready to end it if it's not."  
  
I remain silent, biting my lip to keep from speaking. You look up. "What? No comment?" you mutter. "Usually, you'd be shaking me and begging me to shut up because I have plenty to live for."  
  
"Usually," I repeat softly. I tap my fingers against the wall. "The fact is, Kaiba, you've got nothing to live for. Nobody particularly cares for you."  
  
You laugh, and it echoes through the house. I shiver. I never really liked your laugh; you always sound like a homicidal maniac instead of a real person. "Since when did you wake up to reality and become a cold- hearted bastard?"  
  
I shrug. "Somebody has to keep up appearances around here."  
  
The sadistic smile turns into a frown. "What about Mokuba?"  
  
The front door opens and slams shut. Speak of the devil. The two of us listen as Mokuba runs up the steps and bangs shut his bedroom door. You wince. Not too long ago, Mokuba would come try to find you to let you know he was home and see what you're doing. Now he doesn't even yell a greeting.  
  
"What about him? He's never around much and could care what you think. Sooner or later Mokuba is going to leave for good. Then you'll really have nobody."  
  
Your gaze lingers in the direction of Mokuba's bedroom. Finally you sigh and look back at me. I hear you mutter something about breaking promises. There's something missing in your eyes that had been there before-a certain burning fire kept alive by Mokuba. Now your sapphire orbs are dull and cloudy. "What happened to calling him Mokie?" For the first time I have spoken to you in a while, your voice wavers slightly.  
  
Now it is my turn to look away. "Mokie died a long time ago. He died when you stopped believing in him." I glance back at him as my own eyes harden. "Mokuba is growing up, and he's not going to be around much longer. I mean, look at him now." I pause and then say softer, "You're not his hero anymore, Kaiba."  
  
You stand and brush your clothes off as though they got all dirty. You look like you're back to normal, if you could call it that. No more teary-eyed depressed Kaiba. "No, I'm not," you growl. Then you turn and begin walking back to your office. Your strides are long and confident; your head held high. You still need to finish remodeling that new duel disk before tomorrow. I follow behind, slightly startled by your change in attitude.  
  
You stop before you go into your office. Mokuba's room is but a couple steps away, and at first I think you're going to continue down the hall to see him. I wonder what he'd think. Instead you turn and focus you intense cobalt eyes on me.  
  
"Do you remember what happened when we went to Noa's virtual world?" you ask.  
  
Of course I remember. Who could possibly forget? We almost died. It was also when Mokuba realized that you weren't the great big brother he thought you were. Yeah, things went downhill with both our lives from there. I think about saying this, but then I just nod.  
  
You blink and run a hand through your hair. "Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had let Noa have my body. Mokuba seemed to like him a lot."  
  
I disagree. "Not nearly as much as he loves you," I answer. "Maybe if you tried, you could renew your bond with Mokuba." We both know that is a lie, but I watch your hand grasp the duel monsters' locket with Mokie's picture inside.  
  
"I doubt that. In the end everyone leaves me. It's always been that way and will always be that way. Trying to get Mokuba to love me again would just open up some more wounds." You frown and release the locket, but it is not taken off nor is it forgotten. Before you shut the door of your office, you glance back at me. "Did I ever break any of my promises, Seto?"  
  
I shake my head. "It's not the promises that mattered. You tried your best...I'm sorry." I am.  
  
You don't seem to like my answer, but you accept it. Then you close the door in my face. It's just another of the many doors you shut to keep me out. For some reason I am reminded of Duelist Kingdom. Tea Gardener's words come to my mind.  
  
What do you have at the end of the day?  
  
...We have nothing...not anymore...  
  
I glare forward and wonder what would happen if I looked at myself in the mirror. Would I see you glaring back? Probably. Months ago, I'd have seen an angry child filled with hope. I guess the roles have reversed on us, except there is no more hope for either of us. Will I eventually have to take your place when you no longer can handle it? Your powerful shields have been cracking over the years...just how long until you shatter? Only I will be there to pick up the pieces. That I guarantee. So that means I'm stuck with you. I may not like it and I may not want to accept it, but it's the truth. I think back to what you said moments earlier and smile at the irony of it all.  
  
The hallway is silent, but I can faintly hear the loud music blaring in Mokuba's room and the quieter tap-tap-tap of your lap top. "I'll never leave you," I whisper even though you can't hear me. And I mean it, too. I promise...  
  
Author's note: I was watching the old Duelist Kingdom episodes, particularly the scene where little Seto is yelling at Kaiba. It made me start to think about what would happen if Seto Kaiba had a split personality. One half is the innocent child while the other is the arrogant, power-crazy Kaiba. Over time though, little Seto would be influenced by his other half. Kaiba, too, is like glass that is about to shatter. Each crack leaves a deeper wound on his soul. And the Mokuba thing? In Battle City, I've noticed how he doubts his big brother more than in the earlier episodes. He can't possibly see Seto Kaiba as his great idol who can do no wrong forever. Ok enough rambling.  
  
Let me know what you think. Good, bad, incredibly awful? 


End file.
